When You Stop Filtering Your Prayers.

הֲלֹא־צָבָ֣א לֶאֱנ֣וֹשׁ ׳עַל־עֲלֵי־אָ֑רֶץ׳ וְכִימֵ֖י שָׂכִ֣יר יָמָֽיו׃

“Has not man a hard service on earth, and are not his days like the days of a hired hand?

כְּעֶ֥בֶד יִשְׁאַף־צֵ֑ל וּ֝כְשָׂכִ֗יר יְקַוֶּ֥ה פָעֳלֽוֹ׃

[2] Like a slave who longs for the shadow, and like a hired hand who looks for his wages,

כֵּ֤ן הָנְחַ֣לְתִּי לִ֭י יַרְחֵי־שָׁ֑וְא וְלֵיל֥וֹת עָ֝מָ֗ל מִנּוּ־לִֽי׃

[3] so I am allotted months of emptiness, and nights of misery are apportioned to me.

אִם־שָׁכַ֗בְתִּי וְאָמַ֗רְתִּי מָתַ֣י אָ֭קוּם וּמִדַּד־עָ֑רֶב וְשָׂבַ֖עְתִּי נְדֻדִ֣ים עֲדֵי־נָֽשֶׁף׃

[4] When I lie down I say, ‘When shall I arise?’ But the night is long, and I toss and turn till the dawn.

לָ֘בַ֤שׁ בְּשָׂרִ֣י רִ֭מָּה ׳וְגִישׁ׳ ״וְג֣וּשׁ״ עָפָ֑ר עוֹרִ֥י רָ֝גַ֗ע וַיִּמָּאֵֽס׃

[5] My flesh is clothed with worms and dirt; my skin hardens, then breaks out afresh.

יָמַ֣י קַ֭לּוּ מִנִּי־אָ֑רֶג וַ֝יִּכְל֗וּ בְּאֶ֣פֶס תִּקְוָֽה׃

[6] My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle and come to their end without hope.

זְ֭כֹר כִּי־ר֣וּחַ חַיָּ֑י לֹא־תָשׁ֥וּב עֵ֝ינִ֗י לִרְא֥וֹת טֽוֹב׃

[7] “Remember that my life is a breath; my eye will never again see good.

לֹֽא־תְ֭שׁוּרֵנִי עֵ֣ין רֹ֑אִי עֵינֶ֖יךָ בִּ֣י וְאֵינֶֽנִּי׃

[8] The eye of him who sees me will behold me no more; while your eyes are on me, I shall be gone.

כָּלָ֣ה עָ֭נָן וַיֵּלַ֑ךְ כֵּ֥ן יוֹרֵ֥ד שְׁ֝א֗וֹל לֹ֣א יַעֲלֶֽה׃

[9] As the cloud fades and vanishes, so he who goes down to Sheol does not come up;

לֹא־יָשׁ֣וּב ע֣וֹד לְבֵית֑וֹ וְלֹא־יַכִּירֶ֖נּוּ ע֣וֹד מְקֹמֽוֹ׃

[10] he returns no more to his house, nor does his place know him anymore.

גַּם־אֲנִי֮ לֹ֤א אֶחֱשָׂ֫ךְ פִּ֥י אֲ‍ֽ֭דַבְּרָה בְּצַ֣ר רוּחִ֑י אָ֝שִׂ֗יחָה בְּמַ֣ר נַפְשִֽׁי׃

[11] “Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

הֲ‍ֽיָם־אָ֭נִי אִם־תַּנִּ֑ין כִּֽי־תָשִׂ֖ים עָלַ֣י מִשְׁמָֽר׃

[12] Am I the sea, or a sea monster, that you set a guard over me?

כִּֽי־אָ֭מַרְתִּי תְּנַחֲמֵ֣נִי עַרְשִׂ֑י יִשָּׂ֥א בְ֝שִׂיחִ֗י מִשְׁכָּבִֽי׃

[13] When I say, ‘My bed will comfort me, my couch will ease my complaint,’

וְחִתַּתַּ֥נִי בַחֲלֹמ֑וֹת וּֽמֵחֶזְיֹנ֥וֹת תְּבַעֲתַֽנִּי׃

[14] then you scare me with dreams and terrify me with visions,

וַתִּבְחַ֣ר מַחֲנָ֣ק נַפְשִׁ֑י מָ֝֗וֶת מֵֽעַצְמוֹתָֽי׃

[15] so that I would choose strangling and death rather than my bones.

מָ֭אַסְתִּי לֹא־לְעֹלָ֣ם אֶֽחְיֶ֑ה חֲדַ֥ל מִ֝מֶּ֗נִּי כִּי־הֶ֥בֶל יָמָֽי׃

[16] I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Leave me alone, for my days are a breath.

מָֽה־אֱ֭נוֹשׁ כִּ֣י תְגַדְּלֶ֑נּוּ וְכִי־תָשִׁ֖ית אֵלָ֣יו לִבֶּֽךָ׃

[17] What is man, that you make so much of him, and that you set your heart on him,

וַתִּפְקְדֶ֥נּוּ לִבְקָרִ֑ים לִ֝רְגָעִ֗ים תִּבְחָנֶֽנּוּ׃

[18] visit him every morning and test him every moment?

כַּ֭מָּה לֹא־תִשְׁעֶ֣ה מִמֶּ֑נִּי לֹֽא־תַ֝רְפֵּ֗נִי עַד־בִּלְעִ֥י רֻקִּֽי׃

[19] How long will you not look away from me, nor leave me alone till I swallow my spit?

חָטָ֡אתִי מָ֤ה אֶפְעַ֨ל׀ לָךְ֮ נֹצֵ֪ר הָאָ֫דָ֥ם לָ֤מָה שַׂמְתַּ֣נִי לְמִפְגָּ֣ע לָ֑ךְ וָאֶהְיֶ֖ה עָלַ֣י לְמַשָּֽׂא׃

[20] If I sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of mankind? Why have you made me your mark? Why have I become a burden to you?

וּמֶ֤ה׀ לֹא־תִשָּׂ֣א פִשְׁעִי֮ וְתַעֲבִ֪יר אֶת־עֲוֺ֫נִ֥י כִּֽי־עַ֭תָּה לֶעָפָ֣ר אֶשְׁכָּ֑ב וְשִׁ֖חֲרְתַּ֣נִי וְאֵינֶֽנִּי׃ פ

[21] Why do you not pardon my transgression and take away my iniquity? For now I shall lie in the earth; you will seek me, but I shall not be.”