When Honesty Is All You Have Left.

מִזְמ֖וֹר לְדָוִ֣ד לְהַזְכִּֽיר׃

O Lord , rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath!

יְֽהוָ֗ה אַל־בְּקֶצְפְּךָ֥ תוֹכִיחֵ֑נִי וּֽבַחֲמָתְךָ֥ תְיַסְּרֵֽנִי׃

[2] For your arrows have sunk into me, and your hand has come down on me.

כִּֽי־חִ֭צֶּיךָ נִ֣חֲתוּ בִ֑י וַתִּנְחַ֖ת עָלַ֣י יָדֶֽךָ׃

[3] There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation; there is no health in my bones because of my sin.

אֵין־מְתֹ֣ם בִּ֭בְשָׂרִי מִפְּנֵ֣י זַעְמֶ֑ךָ אֵין־שָׁל֥וֹם בַּ֝עֲצָמַ֗י מִפְּנֵ֥י חַטָּאתִֽי׃

[4] For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

כִּ֣י עֲ֭וֺנֹתַי עָבְר֣וּ רֹאשִׁ֑י כְּמַשָּׂ֥א כָ֝בֵ֗ד יִכְבְּד֥וּ מִמֶּֽנִּי׃

[5] My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,

הִבְאִ֣ישׁוּ נָ֭מַקּוּ חַבּוּרֹתָ֑י מִ֝פְּנֵ֗י אִוַּלְתִּֽי׃

[6] I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; all the day I go about mourning.

נַעֲוֵ֣יתִי שַׁחֹ֣תִי עַד־מְאֹ֑ד כָּל־הַ֝יּ֗וֹם קֹדֵ֥ר הִלָּֽכְתִּי׃

[7] For my sides are filled with burning, and there is no soundness in my flesh.

כִּֽי־כְ֭סָלַי מָלְא֣וּ נִקְלֶ֑ה וְאֵ֥ין מְ֝תֹ֗ם בִּבְשָׂרִֽי׃

[8] I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

נְפוּג֣וֹתִי וְנִדְכֵּ֣יתִי עַד־מְאֹ֑ד שָׁ֝אַ֗גְתִּי מִֽנַּהֲמַ֥ת לִבִּֽי׃

[9] O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you.

אֲ‍ֽדֹנָי נֶגְדְּךָ֥ כָל־תַּאֲוָתִ֑י וְ֝אַנְחָתִ֗י מִמְּךָ֥ לֹא־נִסְתָּֽרָה׃

[10] My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.

לִבִּ֣י סְ֭חַרְחַר עֲזָבַ֣נִי כֹחִ֑י וְֽאוֹר־עֵינַ֥י גַּם־הֵ֝֗ם אֵ֣ין אִתִּֽי׃

[11] My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off.

אֹֽהֲבַ֨י׀ וְרֵעַ֗י מִנֶּ֣גֶד נִגְעִ֣י יַעֲמֹ֑דוּ וּ֝קְרוֹבַ֗י מֵרָחֹ֥ק עָמָֽדוּ׃

[12] Those who seek my life lay their snares; those who seek my hurt speak of ruin and meditate treachery all day long.

וַיְנַקְשׁ֤וּ׀ מְבַקְשֵׁ֬י נַפְשִׁ֗י וְדֹרְשֵׁ֣י רָ֭עָתִי דִּבְּר֣וּ הַוּ֑וֹת וּ֝מִרְמ֗וֹת כָּל־הַיּ֥וֹם יֶהְגּֽוּ׃

[13] But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear, like a mute man who does not open his mouth.

וַאֲנִ֣י כְ֭חֵרֵשׁ לֹ֣א אֶשְׁמָ֑ע וּ֝כְאִלֵּ֗ם לֹ֣א יִפְתַּח־פִּֽיו׃

[14] I have become like a man who does not hear, and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

וָאֱהִ֗י כְּ֭אִישׁ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לֹא־שֹׁמֵ֑עַ וְאֵ֥ין בְּ֝פִ֗יו תּוֹכָחֽוֹת׃

[15] But for you, O Lord , do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.

כִּֽי־לְךָ֣ יְהוָ֣ה הוֹחָ֑לְתִּי אַתָּ֥ה תַ֝עֲנֶ֗ה אֲדֹנָ֥י אֱלֹהָֽי׃

[16] For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me, who boast against me when my foot slips!”

כִּֽי־אָ֭מַרְתִּי פֶּן־יִשְׂמְחוּ־לִ֑י בְּמ֥וֹט רַ֝גְלִ֗י עָלַ֥י הִגְדִּֽילוּ׃

[17] For I am ready to fall, and my pain is ever before me.

כִּֽי־אֲ֭נִי לְצֶ֣לַע נָכ֑וֹן וּמַכְאוֹבִ֖י נֶגְדִּ֣י תָמִֽיד׃

[18] I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin.

כִּֽי־עֲוֺנִ֥י אַגִּ֑יד אֶ֝דְאַ֗ג מֵֽחַטָּאתִֽי׃

[19] But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty, and many are those who hate me wrongfully.

וְֽ֭אֹיְבַי חַיִּ֣ים עָצֵ֑מוּ וְרַבּ֖וּ שֹׂנְאַ֣י שָֽׁקֶר׃

[20] Those who render me evil for good accuse me because I follow after good.

וּמְשַׁלְּמֵ֣י רָ֭עָה תַּ֣חַת טוֹבָ֑ה יִ֝שְׂטְנ֗וּנִי תַּ֣חַת ׳רְדוֹפִי־רָֽדְפִי־טֽוֹב׃׳

[21] Do not forsake me, O Lord ! O my God, be not far from me!

אַל־תַּֽעַזְבֵ֥נִי יְהוָ֑ה אֱ֝לֹהַ֗י אַל־תִּרְחַ֥ק מִמֶּֽנִּי׃

[22] Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!

ח֥וּשָׁה לְעֶזְרָתִ֑י אֲ֝דֹנָ֗י תְּשׁוּעָתִֽי׃